I have just returned home from Indianapolis, IN. There, I interviewed with several members of the Global Ministries team, and have been officially approved as a Global Mission Intern for Hungary! Holy cow, y'all. Is this real? Am I really going to spend the next year in Budapest, Hungary? The answer to both of course, is "yes." And to be honest, I couldn't be happier or more terrified.
I am so excited for the challenges this position will bring me, and for all the relationships and opportunities for growth I will surely experience. Also, I'm selfishly excited to be a tourist, and to be surrounded by the beautiful backdrop that is Budapest. But, what of those things I don't know and can't possibly anticipate?What about the language differences? What if I don't like it? What if, what if, what if...At this point, I'm filled with more questions than answers. But, as I sit here writing out the seemingly endless litany of questions, I realized it's good to be scared. That means I'm taking a chance - testing myself. I'm challenging myself to be more than my current definition.
Without uncertainty and change can we ever really grow? Honestly, I don't think we can. So, as I look forward to this trip and the unknown, I want to take stock of my life. I want to drink in my life and appreciate everything I have come to be. Perhaps it's the mystery of the next year or simply a part of growing up, but I want to cling to my past for the loyalty it's shown me, and at the same time embrace the unknown future with both hands. I want to continue to deepen the relationships I have at home, and work to cultivate new bonds in a new place. It's a conundrum - beautiful, heartbreaking, anxious, frightening and exciting conundrum.
The only thing I know for sure is that no matter where I am, God is there and He has faith in me. And with that answer, what question is there?
Psalm 37 v 23/24
Our steps are made firm by the
Lord,
when he delights in our way;
though we stumble, we shall
not fall headlong,
for the Lord holds us by the
hand