Becoming a Student Again

I feel like I have been so busy. Like I've done everything and nothing all at the same time. I really am starting to get into a groove over here. School - work - homework. It's been a strange thing going back to school. My mind has been groomed for the past 16 years on how to be a student. I've slipped back into this role as if I had never left. And I really am enjoying learning this language, even though I'm still embarrassed to try it outside of the classroom!

Strangely enough, I feel like a student at work as well. I have been reading a lot. I am not only learning about what the Reformed Church in Hungary (RCH) is doing at this time but also trying to discover more about the belief foundation that shaped the Reformed Church of today. And I want to challenge all of you to learn more about it too! Become a student again. The RCH has recently launched its English website (www.reformatus.hu/english/), and we have put up several new articles from leaders of the Reformed Church in Hungary. Please, take some time to learn about the folks I will be sharing my time with for the next year! You might be surprised at what you find.

Ministry is something to be shared, not hidden away. The difficulties churches face in the U.S. are the same struggles in Hungary. The joys of community, love and understanding must be global goals. After all, who are we really without our brothers and sisters in Christ? The journey to relationship starts with connection.

Ephesians 2: 19-22
So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are citizens with the saints and also members of the household of God, built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the cornerstone. In him the whole structure is joined together and grows into a holy temple in the Lord; in whom you also are built together spiritually into a dwelling place for God.

Budapesten Vagyok!

Hello from Budapest! I finally arrived safely in the city last Thursday, October 11. I can't believe that I've only been here a week! It seems like I have been running from the start! I haven't even taken the first picture yet! For those of you who know me, just breathe. Yes you read that correctly, I haven't taken any photos. No, my body has not been taken over by aliens (or so they'd have you think....). I promise, they will come  - the photos, that is, not the aliens.

Seriously though, my trip could not have started better. There were no issues with my flights, and no problem getting through customs or finding my welcoming party at the airport. THANK YOU, for all of your prayers for safe travel! Your kind words were just the pick-me-up I needed after a few very long flights.

Last weekend, I was able to do a little sightseeing with a coworker who has graciously taken me under her wing and volunteered to be my main means of communication while I get started in Budapest. I honestly wish everyone could visit this city. It is truly breathtaking! My pictures, when they come, will assuredly do Budapest an injustice. However, I will try my best to represent it to you!

I am beginning to understand the city a little better, and have finally grasped the metro routes I need to get home, to work and to my language school! I am here to state for the record, that public transportation is wonderful. Louisiana, you don't know what you're missing. My longest commute takes about 25 minutes, which in the scheme of things is not so bad. Plus, I've sat on 1-12, countless times, for an hour without moving more than 10 mph - I consider a 25 minute tram/bus ride a piece of cake.

Monday was the beginning of my Hungarian language course. I am taking a four week, intensive class that meets every weekday from 9 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. It is a small group, with only four students in my class. We cover a chapter a day and attempt to retain the details of this very complex language.

After class, I head to work. I am quite lucky because I get to cross the Danube River every day during my commute from school to the Reformed Church of Hungary's Synod Office! Thus far, as far as work is concerned, I have only done a little proofreading of English text translated from the original Hungarian. At first, proofreading a few documents did not seem like a big deal, but now I am seeing things differently. My coworker, Dóra, was so excited after I finished my edit of a Synod Office brochure, she kept saying, "Yes, yes, yes! This is so good! It is so good to have you here!" And I realized, I was really helping. Hungarian is a difficult language, and English is terribly complicated as well. This combination can mean disaster for translation. However, now we have each other, and the problem is suddenly manageable!

It's been refreshing to take a back seat in things. I'm no longer out in front leading. Instead, I am sitting patiently in the back listening. Being unable to communicate effectively has forced me to close my mouth and listen to the wisdom, faith and strength of other people. It has given me a chance to listen, so that I may hear God in each person. Last night, I attended a prayer meeting for the Roma (gypsy) ministry of the Reformed Church in Hungary. I spent nearly two hours at a table with six people that spoke in a language I did not understand. Yet at the same time, I heard and understood every word. I could see the joy, humor and dedication that each person brought to that group. I heard the effect God had on their lives as we concluded the meeting with prayer. I knew them and respected them through Christ.

Before I left Louisiana, I was given a daily devotional, written by Sarah Young, by the members of my home church in Baton Rouge. The devotion for today, October 17, struck me.

"Remember to listen, as well as to speak, making your thoughts a dialogue with Me."

Let us all remember that in our busy, hectic lives, it is easy to drown out that dialogue with God. Take some time to hear someone. Maybe, you'll hear God in them too.

Perspective

I find myself, yet again, sitting in the Indianapolis airport. The last time I was here, I had just been accepted as a Global Mission Intern (GMI) to Hungary. The excitement was palpable and bursting forth. I could not wait to tell everyone! That was May...Now, it is the end of September and the excitement has morphed into anxiety. Planning and logistics have overtaken my emotions.

I came to Indianapolis a week ago for a global mission conference and training. In my mind, I thought of this conference as the last step before my departure. It is almost comical how emotionally unprepared I was for this week. And in a way, I think everyone else who participated in this conference was just as unprepared for the faith and community that came from our week together. The group consisted of missionaries from around the world, both new and old, continuing, beginning and concluding. We literally spent four FULL days together. The Global Ministry staff brought in speakers from all over the country to discuss sensitive and important issues that missionaries must face - cultural awareness, race and racism, health, security...

But most importantly, we created a community; a community of faith where experiences as well as fears were shared without rebuke. The people I met and the conversations we shared, helped me begin to shape a new perspective on "mission." My purpose in Budapest is so much more than "doing."It is a time to create a shared path in faith with my partner in Hungary. Above all the cultural differences that exist between us, is the only thing that really matters - our equality around the table as members of the body of Christ.

Until next time, I'll leave you with a prayer from Thomas Merton that was shared with us by our Area Executive to Africa, Sandra Gourdet.

God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that f I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Amen.

An Update!

I have been informed by several people that I need to update my blog. In all honesty, I know they are right, but I simply have not been able to put words on this page. There are two almost fully-formed blogs in the queue that I just could not bring myself to publish. They were just talking and no substance.

For those of you reading that know me, you know that I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my writing. This was particularly problematic when it came to my media writing course at LSU. My professor demanded 22 papers in one semester and did not care if I was 100 percent satisfied with my word usage or sentence structure. And, I found a way to made it work. I learned to create a new set of standards for my writing. That is what I must do now.

The main purpose of this blog is to keep those back home updated on my life and on the work I am doing in Budapest. So, here it goes:

My official date of departure is Oct. 10. While in Hungary, I will be staying in a youth hostel. It is basically a glorified dorm room, but I will have my own room with my own bathroom! I consider it a win.

My job focus will be communication for the Reformed Church in Hungary. I will be writing articles and PR material in English, as well as maintaining the English-based website. I will also be a guide to any international guests, and will be doing limited English language tutoring with refugees.

This Sunday, Sept 23, is my commissioning service at my home church in Baton Rouge. My family and church family have been wonderfully supportive in my decision to serve overseas. Their prayers, congratulations and excitement have fueled me on through this transitional period. I wish they could understand how much their encouraging words have meant to me. Instead, I will put my thanks here. Without their support, I do not know that I would have had the courage to take this leap.

Shortly after my commissioning, I depart for Indianapolis for a mission conference. Here, I will meet other missionaries from Global Ministries and go through some mission training. I am incredibly excited to hear the personal stories from those missionaries who have experienced everything that is currently an unknown for me.

I am bringing my laptop with me and I will do my darndest to get a post on this blog while I am in Indianapolis!

Until then...

Stuck in the Middle

How do you contain such an intense excitement, so it doesn't dissipate over time? Is that even possible? I'm living through an awkward lull right now. I feel like Debra Messing in the Wedding Date - she's packing and gets to a point where she's running everywhere and can't decide what chore to tackle or what move to make. She ends up in the kitchen, moving in this cartoonish dance of indecision. Debra Messing makes it look light-hearted and funny. My dance makes me look uncommitted. Maybe it's because there is so much to think about or do that I don't know where to start. Or maybe that's just an excuse. Maybe I'm really insecure and my coping mechanism is avoidance. Or, maybe I'm selling myself short.

It's an interesting position. The middle. I fluctuate between total confidence in myself and total confidence I'm going to fail. How do you prepare for an experience that's so ambiguous? I feel like my brain continues to churn out question after question and I'm no closer to any semblance of an answer. While indescribably frustrating, it's also entertaining. It's as if God is chuckling and saying, "welcome to life." There will never be a highlighted Google Map route to navigate my immature feelings or uncertain future. The future will always be uncertain, that's what makes life enthralling and terrifying.

Amy, you're not special. Everyone is wary of the unknown and anxious in the "between" time. Even though the end is stretched beyond my vision, I know it exists and I know I'm headed in the right direction. Just keep swimming...just keep swimming.