It's been far too long since last I wrote. There is no excuse that will make up for my silence, for my absence. Truth be told, I have thought of you often, perhaps more often than I should, but I simply could not find the energy to reach out and face the reality of our separation. And honestly, dear friend, the longer I've waited, the larger the expanse has grown, until it seemed nearly impossible to span.
I do miss you, though. That's the truth. I miss our adventures together, but more importantly I miss our time. I miss the infinite possibility our existence held. Now, our time together has slipped away and I find myself once again surrounded by the familiar, only now I carry an unfamiliar feeling of loss in my soul.
I feel as if someone has taken my emotions and tossed them like confetti to the breeze. My heart beats in slow flutters as the pieces fall. There's nothing I can do but watch them float aimlessly until they have nowhere left to wander, finally meeting the solidness of the earth. And then what, friend? Do they find rest, do I find rest?
Has it really been so long since I last laid eyes upon you? Some days I don't believe it. I still feel as though tomorrow I will see your face full of laughter and friendship, feel your arms of comfort and support. I'm still not sure how to rectify the fact that we may never see each other again. Will your hold on me ever dissipate? Do I want it to?
And what of you, dearest friend? Do your days notice where I once strolled alongside you, soliloquizing on meaning and purpose, dreaming of perfect moments brimming with contented nothingness?
Those moments were my joy, you know. They reside with me still and embrace the impact of new memories that have found their way in. It seems you are there every day to accept all my new experiences with outstretched arms of unending welcome.
What a perfect image, don't you think? You returning my embrace as I hold you in my heart.
With all of my love and much more,
Your old friend